Time heals most wounds

I got some disturbing news this week, which I won't go into.  But the news has made me rethink how I feel about the situation.  During Spring Break next year I will be seeing this person.  I was tiny while we knew each other and it makes me - motivates me - to want to really be thin again - at least as thin as I can get in 4 months, I suppose.  I'm not really doing it for this person, I'm still doing it for me, but it's another catalyst to get and keep moving.

It's pretty widely known that Jason has a girlfriend in Texas, in the same city as this old friend lives in.  We get to see her too; I love her a lot and I really would like to be thin for her, too.  Not that I'm trying to compete with her, that's not how our relationship is, with Jason and with her.  But I would like to be pretty in case there's someone out there in Texas for me, too.  Don't judge me too harshly, internets.  I just feel like she can offer something to him that I can't, just as she offers something to me that he can't.  And we come home still secure and happy, which is all that really matters.

So, now that I'm off that potentially embarrassing tangent, I gained a little weight over the last few days.  I guess the daytime starvation thing wasn't really working, I'm not anorexic, I'm back to my shakes.  Though today was the first day I'd had two in one day.  This Adderall is also supposed to help with weight loss and appetite suppression, which may be good for me on the weekends and at night.  Plus, Adderall is like a wonder drug for serious.  I've never been able to focus like I am now.  I just hope it's weight loss side effect is one that I experience.

Adding to all of this, Jason asked Don, our roommate to help him lose weight over the NERO break.  Don says Jason is going to hate him, but I tell you that if it helps him lose then I'm happy.  It's not an issue with attractiveness; I love Jason and I'm attracted to other attributes than physical ones.  I just worry about his health.  Adding to all this, I would really like to not have to buy two seats for both of us on the airplane when we do travel to DFW in the spring.  Either that, or I have to drive.

I guess I should close until next entry, which may be next week or before that if something significant happens.

Happy trails, non-readers.  And readers, if there's anyone out there actually looking at this.